If you’re a Baby Boomer like me (and if you’re not, why are you here?), you might or not have partaken of the joys of breastfeeding when young. Growing up during the Baby Boomer surge, when baby formulas were touted as a processed substitute for natural breast milk (my own theory is that this was a fifties neo-Victorian effort to prevent young boys from coming into contact with female breasts until the act could be sanctioned by marriage – an hysterical analogue to Victorian piano leg skirts that were designed to decently conceal “naked” piano legs), your mother might have opted to fill your menu with rubber nipples and factory-made milk. Such was the case with me.
Of course, during the fifties, when virtually anything natural, or unprocessed, or unpreserved, was taken to be somehow inferior to the processed and packaged alternatives, it was to be expected that coven of savvy marketing wizards and test-lab shills would hatch a plot to replace a natural product (nature’s version of “batteries included”) with a manufactured one.
Fortunately, breastfeeding made a comeback, once the health benefits conferred upon infants (e.g. enhanced immune system, bonding with the mother) became more apparent. Still, there are a number of us who have never tasted real mothers’ milk.
Now, you may have your chance. An ice cream shop in London’s Covent Garden district, the Icecreamists, now serves a range of ice creams made from human breast milk. Currently, the essential ingredient is being provided by a single donor, Ms. Victoria Hiley. Well, perhaps donor isn’t exactly the right word: Ms. Hiley is paid $24.00 for every 10 ounces of milk she provides. As Ms. Hiley recently told the BBC, “What’s the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash?” Each serving of Baby Gaga costs $22.50.
The owner of the shop, Matt O’Connor, is touting the new line as “free range and organic.” Said O’Connor, “If it’s good enough for our children, it’s good enough for the rest of us.”